HBO’s Game of Thrones premieres the first episode its 7th season this Sunday and I am pretty excited about it. This is the best show on TV right now and it will give many of us something to look forward to on Sundays from now until the start of football season. As I was watching the trailer for season 7 the other day it got me thinking — Game of Thrones is a story about warring families all competing for the Iron Throne and control of the realm — kind of like the AFC South! Of course this led me to think about which characters from the show would be the best comp for various teams/players/coaches from the division and here we are. I present you with the official Game of Thrones guide to the AFC South.
SPOILER ALERT: There will be light spoilers from the first 6 seasons of Game of Thrones past this point, also there will be spoilers from the first 15 seasons of the AFC South in case you were gonna go back and binge watch AFC South football at some point.
House Stark: Titans
Obviously. This is a Titans website so of course we are the good guys, but it also makes some sense. The Stark family started Game of Thrones with a lot of power — similar to the Titans when the AFC South was founded in 2002 — but through poor management and shaky leadership they quickly lost their way. But as this new season begins they are once again on the rise.
Jon Snow: Marcus Mariota
Jon Snow is (arguably) the main protagonist of Game of Thrones and he is now the young leader of House Stark as they begin their rise back to power similar to Mariota with the young Titans. Jon is among the most honorable characters on the show and highly skilled in combat. He has died and been revived through magic (Mariota’s ankle surgery) and spent his youth training with criminals in the north at Castle Black (Oregon...I kid, I kid, we love you Oregon Titan fans).
Sansa Stark: Mike Mularkey
Sansa had a rough start to the show. She was briefly married to one of the Stark family’s rivals and it went horribly (Mularkey in Jacksonville), but now she has partnered with one of the power brokers of Game of Thrones, Petyr Baelish AKA "Littlefinger" (Jon Robinson) to join with her brother Jon Snow (Mariota) in reclaiming the Throne for the Starks just as the Titans are looking to reclaim the AFC South throne.
Petyr Baelish AKA "Littlefinger": Jon Robinson
Littlefinger is probably the craftiest character on Game of Thrones. He’s always one step ahead of his opponents just like our guy J-Rob. He’s taken Sansa (Mularkey) under his wing and they have helped each other rise to prominence. Also, tell me this quote doesn’t sound like something Robinson would say:
“Always keep your foes confused. If they are never certain who you are or what you want, they cannot know what you are like to do next. Sometimes the best way to baffle them is to make moves that have no purpose, or even seem to work against you. Remember that, Sansa, when you come to play the game.”
-Littlefinger (probably talking about the DGB trade)
Arya Stark: Adoree Jackson
Arya is small and fast just like Adoree, but she might be the biggest bad*** of them all. She’s fresh out of training to be a faceless assassin and finally looking to make a real impact in the world and Adoree is fresh out of college after training to be a special teams assassin.
Bran Stark: Kevin Dodd
Bran lost the use of his legs midway through his first season just like Dodd. Perfect match.
Hodor: Jack Conklin
Hodor is a part-giant with a limited vocabulary who possesses incredible size and strength just like Conklin. I considered going with Lewan here but Taylor is way too talkative to get the Hodor comp. Besides, couldn’t you kinda see Conklin muttering "hold the door" under his breath as he’s out there stonewalling Von Miller?
Ser Davos Seaworth: Eric Decker
Ser Davos is a Game of Thrones veteran who was recently brought over to the Stark side. His biggest asset is his experience, but he still can hold his own in a battle.
Lady Brienne of Tarth: Corey Davis
One of the best fighters on the show, Brienne has both size and skill and recently was drafted in to the growing Stark contingent. She’s a potential gamechanger for this group just like Davis.
House Targaryen: Colts
This one fits almost too perfectly as well. The Targaryens were the ruling family in Westeros for a long time until they were overthrown during Robert’s Rebellion just like the Colts ruled the AFC South for a long time before the Texans overthrew them the last couple years.
Aerys Targaryen AKA "The Mad King": Jim Irsay
The Colts owner is the definition of a mad king. His favorite pastimes include traveling with briefcases filled with... let’s say “something other than Flintstones vitamins”, shopping at Affliction, and late night NSFW tweeting.
Daenerys Targaryen AKA "Khaleesi": Chuck Pagano
I know everyone loves Daenerys, but lets be honest...she’s a horrible leader. She’s had a massive army and freaking dragons (Andrew Luck) at her disposal for multiple seasons now and yet she still can’t challenge for the Throne because she keeps getting bogged down in random political disputes (passive aggressive fights with former GM Ryan Grigson) in towns she doesn’t even want to be in (Indianapolis). So now she’s got a new advisor in Tyrion Lannister (new GM Chris Ballard) to try to get her out of her own way.
The Dragons: Andrew Luck
Like the dragons, Luck can a fire breathing terrifying beast at times, but just as dragons rarely appear on the show, that version of Andrew Luck only shows up from time to time (usually against the Titans unfortunately). I cannot confirm whether or not the dragons have injured wings heading in to season 7.
House Lannister: Texans
The Lannisters currently sit on the Iron Throne even though they kind of got there by accident and no one thinks they are very good rulers just like the Texans.
Cersei Lannister: Bill O’Brien
Cersei is the leader of the Lannister family at this point in the show, but she’s had a rough run over the past few seasons burying almost as many of her children as O’Brien has buried quarterbacks in Houston.
Jaime Lannister: J.J. Watt
Jaime is Cersei’s brother/lover. He was once known as one of the most feared fighters in the realm, but after a recent injury it remains to be seen whether or not he can regain his top form.
Joffrey Baratheon: Brock Osweiler
Joffrey was an evil, spoiled brat kid who briefly became King in spite of himself much like Osweiler. However, Joffrey didn’t last long on the throne and neither did Brock.
House Greyjoy: Jaguars
House Greyjoy is largely inconsequential in the Game of Thrones universe just like the Jags in the AFC South. When they do get involved in the action they usually just screw stuff up for other people who are actually trying to do something worthwhile. Also, they like to say “What Is Dead May Never Die”, which sounds a lot like the Jags playoff hopes.
Euron Greyjoy: Tom Coughlin
Euron is a fairly minor character in the show to this point, but he mysteriously showed up on the scene when the former leader of House Greyjoy died similar to Coughlin showing up as Gus Bradley got canned.
Theon Greyjoy: Blake Bortles
Theon has spent much of the show being tortured by Ramsay Bolton similar to how AFC South defenses have tortured Bortles over the past few years. He shall from now on be known as “Reek Bortles” to me.
Let me know which comps you would add or change in the comments!