This is a tale of a man that was dumb. He knew not what he did, nor the opportunity he blew when young Harry Douglas offered him 2 tickets to tonight's footballing match in the City of Kansas in Missouri. He said "I can't make the drive, and my brother won't drive 2 measly hours to watch the game and maybe get Mariota's autograph." So the man declined the free tickets against the better judgement of a person with common sense.
The man became sad. He realized that if he left work slightly early the next day he would be able to make the game. He thought of the great opportunity he had just wasted. Then he went to Sonic and lamented. It was 50 cent corndog day, so he purchased 7, two cherry limeades for himself and a large order of chili cheese tater tots. This made the man happy, but not as happy as all of that food AND tickets to the Titans game would have, so he mourned. Then, in a stunning change of events, the man's girlfriend got him tickets to the game, and the man was happy. This is my story.
YOU CAN STOP MOCKING ME NOW, TREVOR
Links are in the sentence above. Enjoy.