clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Why It's Still Good To Be A Titans Fan: NFC Edition

More hate and vitriol. You know the drill.

The Chicago Bears: Who's the best quarterback in franchise history again? Rex Grossman? As funny as that sounds, he's probably close.

The Detroit Lions: Not sure there's ever been a larger collections of failure ever assembled than the 2008 Detroit Lions. It set them up pretty well by landing them the number one pick in the draft, but if Stafford keeps breaking that glass shoulder of his then all of that will have been for nothing. 

The Green Bay Packers: If putting up with Favre's pseudo-retirement crap is a sign of weakness then welcome to little girl territory, Green Bay.  

The Minnesota Vikings: The Titans were officially introduced to Tennessee in 1997. Since then, they haven't won a Super Bowl. That's painful enough, I can't even imagine what it must be like for Vikings fans who have been waiting on a winner for nearly fifty years and counting. It doesn't look so hot for the future either. When Joe Webb and Brett Favre are your "insurance policy", I'd suggest finding a new plan. 

The Atlanta Falcons: Matt Ryan isn't bad, but I think Ron Mexico gets the last laugh this time. 

The Carolina Panthers: The best player in their team's history is Jake Dellhome and Jordan Gross was their Madden cover candidate. Can we just disband this worthless franchise already? Normally you get some kind of neat looking gimmick uniform as an expansion team, the Panthers just whiffed completely. Often confused for the Jacksonville Jaguars at a glance. 

The New Orleans Saints: I won't make a hurricane joke, there's no room for that here, but I will make fun of the fact that the Saints are one of the least successful franchises ever. I'm fairly certain that the Saints have a winning record against exactly one other NFL team: the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, perhaps the only other team considered for the worst franchise ever. How 'bout that Ricky Williams for the whole draft trade? I don't think I've ever seen a more futile move in the history of the NFL 

Speaking of the Bucs...

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Oh look, Josh Freeman had one pretty awesome season and is already the best QB in franchise history. Well, that pretty much settles it, the only other three candidates were only good after they left Tampa: Doug Williams who won a Super Bowl with Washington, Steve Young who got his in San Fran and retired with the highest QB rating in NFL history, and Vinny Testaverde who was actually kind of decent for about 22 different teams. 

The Dallas Cowboys: What's to say that hasn't already been said? They're no longer a team we love to hate, in fact, we hate to hate them because it's just too easy. I see no end in sight for the insane amount of hate that these guys get.

The New York Giants: You stole Keith Bulluck, you ruined Jeremy Shockey, and Eli Manning is your quarterback. Is there anything you don't suck all of the awesome out of upon entering the room? 

The Philadelphia Eagles: While my hate for Michael Vick has pretty much subsided, what the hell were you thinking? The investment has already paid off, and while I just adore the fact that the Eagles are pretty much the biggest PETA trolls ever, that was a pretty scummy move to sign ol' Mexico off the scrap head that fast. Too soon, Eagles, too soon. 

The Washington Redskins: It's hard to understand my hate of the Redskins without first considering the undeniable fact that Dan Snyder is absolutely the biggest ass in the history of the ownership of professional sports. I dare you to find a bigger clown than Snyder after first considering that he sued a 70-something woman who made about 400$ a week. Why'd he sue her? She wasn't able to make payments on her season tickets she had held since 1962. 1962! The fact that someone has stuck with your pathetic excuse for an organization that long is a shocker by itself. Alright, I get it, she couldn't pay for the tickets. Why not just, I don't know, take them from her? Nope, Dan Snyder is actually going to sue her and collect his six figures or roughly the amount equivalent to what Fat Al spends at the strip club every week. Perhaps the actual team doesn't deserve this much hate, but Dan Snyder often makes me question my faith in humanity., I can't even describe the depth of my hate here, just read this and join in on the fun. 

The Arizona Cardinals: Step 1: Put a football team in Arizona. Step 2: ???. Step 3: Make absolutely no profit because your team is a perennial doormat in the worst division in professional sports. 

The San Francisco 49ers: You want someone to blame for your number one overall pick, Alex Smith, not working out? Look no further than from within you own organization. It was no easy task, but you pulled it off like a champ. Well done San Fran, well done.

The Seattle Seahawks: Just when you thought the Madden cover candidates couldn't get worse, here comes the "Thirteenth Man" for the Seahawks. Okay, you've go an impressive crowd at just about every game, but don't most veteran NFL teams? If you've been in an area for 20+ years and aren't drawing in huge, raucous, drunken mobs every single game, you're doing it wrong. You almost wonder why they keep showing up considering there's no one on their team worth gracing the cover of Madden. Honestly though, which Seahawk would you put on Madden? That's what I thought, none of them. 

The St. Louis Rams: I'm almost glad the Patriots stole their signs, screw the Rams. It was a race to see who could be the crappiest team ever in 2008 between the Lions and Rams. I really wish the Rams had won.