Ok, ok I know that I am the one who banned the #32 talk on this site, but I couldn't pass this up.
There has to be a reason he decided to get a haircut. Here are a couple of suggestions:
Strip clubs all over the nation have a picture of him, with the the dreds, posted at the door with a NO ENTRY sign. He just couldn't handle that.
He didn't want people to name him when police ask, "Who else was there?"
Any other thoughts??