Oh yes, just in time for That Big Game (real name trademarked by the NFL, can't mention it for fear of ninja assassins!) week, "Late Night" makes a triumphant return. This week, we have none other than Ravens linebacker and Dancing With the Stars wannabe and MCM Most Hated Ray Lewis as our guest!
RB: Ray, thanks for joining me. Are you excited about your final game?
Ray-Ray: I just want to thank me, myself, and I for this opportunity. It's been an incredible journey and I give myself all the glory for getting here.
RB: Don't you mean God? That's who you are always crediting.
RR: That's who I did credit.
RB: I see. So, narcissism aside, what do you say to accusations that you are over-the-top and melodramatic in pregame situations?
RR: I don't think anyone here is qualified to ask me those kind of questions.
RB: I disagree Ray, I think my five Emmy awards say that I am highly qualified to ask you anything I want.
RR: Whatever man, it's all in His hands anyways.
RB: I want to play a song for you. This is Justin Bieber's "Boyfriend". Tell me your thoughts.
(at this point Ray starts to tear up and within seconds is full-on crying, seeming to be overwhelmed by the music)
RB: Wow, so pretty much anything gets you going huh? Let's try another...this is "Call Me Maybe".
(defying known human physics, Ray has started crying harder and in fact has what could be considered waterfalls coming from his eyes)
RB: Ray, what do you say to allegations that you are trying to turn yourself into a deer in order to get into one of those Old Spice commercials as a deer mounted on a wall?
RR: What I do on my own time to recover is between myself, the trainers, and God.
RB: So you don't deny it?
RR: I took all sorts of stuff legally to help myself recover. Back off! (at this point Ray becomes a little scary)
RB: What do you have to say about allegations you were involved in those murders in 2000 and became a snitch?
RR: Listen! It's all up to a higher power now!
RB: Ok, but what do you have to say about those allegations?
RR: I am going to cut you...
(At this point Ray whips out a hidden knife and starts advancing on Mr. Burgundy)
RB: Ray, no, it was a simple question! It's part of your history! Five Emmys!!!! Fi...