In the interest of cooling some jets and getting some positive vibes and fun and laughter going here, I give you Late Night with Ron Burgundy. For my first entry in this series, I managed to get an exclusive interview with a certain Jaguars fan who shall remain nameless but if you go to a certain blog you may find them there. Join me as I interview this anonymous fan!
Ron: So, anonymous Jaguars fan, the first thing we all want to know...how is Gabbert's ass?
Anonymous fan: Do you even know medicine? It's pretty obvious you don't if you're asking that question.
Ron: I'm just asking how his ass is...
Anon: Define "ass"...
Ron: Rear end, butt, an...
Anon: Look, I can pull words out of thin air too. "Rectum".
Ron: That's one too!
Anon: *blank stare*
Ron: Let me ask you this, why did Gabbert cut his hair?
Anon: He doesn't have any weapons to throw to!
Ron: That's...not what I was asking. But since you brought it up, they did sign Robinson and draft Blackmon, who was a preseason all-star apparently.
Anon: Preseason doesn't mean anything.
Ron: But...there was all this talk about improvement from the Jaguars in the preseason and how Gabbert looked awesome.
Anon: Define "improvement". Are there new personnel? Does Gabbert look better? Is the defense better?
Ron: I'm not the Jaguars fan here, what do you think they've done?
Anon: This is pathetic, it's not Gabbert's fault they got new receivers for him.
Ron: I'm not saying it was. I would've thought those guys would help him.
Anon: So we're just going to blame the receivers for Gabbert not getting them the ball?
Ron: Well, I would think that that would be Gabbert's fault...
Anon: So we're going to blame the receivers for Gabbert not getting them the ball?
Ron: That's...you know what, you're absolutely right.
Anon: You know what, I'm not even going to dignify you with responses anymore. It's obvious you are trolling and have no idea how football works.
Ron: Ok then. Well, ladies and gentlemen, this has been Late Night with Ron Burgundy. Tune in next time!
Anon: Define "then"...