Proposition: Year-Long Football for the Titans

Wut?


It's a dark time here at MCM. News is scarce, and activity is low. Thus, I have a proposition for the NFL: year-long football. Let's ignore the many injuries that would occur. The most important thing is the fans' entertainment, not the health and safety of the entertainers. I MEAN THEY ARE MAKING SO MUCH MONEYZ.

When the offseason began, ESPN and NFLN over-covered the Super Bowl champs.

When ESPN and NFLN over-covered the Super Bowl champs, Jeremy Shockey got jealous.

When Jeremy Shockey got jealous, he "snitched" on the Saints.

When he "snitched" on the Saints, the media wouldn't shut up about it.

When the media wouldn't shut up about it, the focus was shifted off football.

When the focus was shifted off football, the Colts decided it was time to release Peyton Manning.

When the Colts released Peyton Manning, the Broncos signed him.

When the Broncos signed him, they traded Tim Tebow to New York.

When they traded Tim Tebow to New York, New Yorkers went to see Jesus Christ Superstar the next day.

When New Yorkers went to see Jesus Christ Superstar the next day, they felt inspired.

When they felt inspired, they voted in the Presidential primaries.

When they voted in the Presidential primaries, Romney won.

When Romney won, the Presidential race picked up.

When the Presidential race picked up, Americans stopped caring about the news.

When Americans stopped caring about the news, they watched ESPN.

When they watched ESPN, the Americans became angry with over-covered basketball, baseball, and soccer (futbol).

When the Americans became angry with the over-covered basketball, baseball, and soccer, they didn't focus on their jobs and finals.

When they didn't focus on their jobs and finals, the unemployment rate went up.

When the unemployment rate went up, the amount of homeless Americans went up.

When the amount of homeless Americans went up, more people died.

Don't make more people die, Mr. Goodell. Make the NFL a year-round league with a one month break for offseason changes so that you can save more lives. This 32-game schedule is much needed.

(Please note that this was purely for entertainment)

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