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UPDATED Dear Ron: Mailtime with Ron Burgundy

UPDATE FOR WEEK OF 2/20: I've decided to broaden the horizons of this. Since limiting it to Titans/NFL/MCM stuff may make it more redundant (meaning, covering things that have already been hacked to death in articles, comments, etc.), send in your mail on whatever the hell you want to. Cleverest questions are more likely to make it to the 'bag, but feel free to ask for predictions on who will win the Oscars, why NBC sucks and waited so long to bring Community back, and so on. Of course, Titans/NFL/MCM stuff can be sent along too, but I'm hoping this generates some more humorous and thoughtful questions at the same time. BurgundyFanMail@gmail.com is the place to send!

Greetings! The time has come for the first version of the revamped mailbag item I'm going to do weekly. It's still a work in progress and hopefully in time and growth of MCM it will get a little closer to what I envision it being. But below are some of the emails I received this week, some I have left the names off or put fictitious ones to protect the idiots guilty people who wrote them. Follow through for the inaugural mailbag with Papa Burgundy!

(You can send your mail on Titans/NFL/MCM stuff to BurgundyFanMail@gmail.com)

Dear Ron,

The Titans are stupid if they don't consider bringing back Randy Moss. If he is anywhere close to where he is saying he is, he would easily become one of our best receivers (maybe even our best if Britt isn't 100%). Jeff Fischer is also gone so maybe Palmer would do a better job of using him and Britt. What do you think?

Yes, the Titans are stupid for not bringing back someone they had on the team a year ago and did zero on the field. I can believe that he was good in the locker room and helped guys understand route running, etc. but to say he could contribute on the field? Methinks you are stretching that quite a bit, and that roster spot is better utilized by someone who can actually contribute. Also, that Jeff Fischer was a great chess player wasn't he? It's just too bad his brother Bobby overshadowed him, Jeff could've been a great one...

Dear Ron,

F**k (Papa B. note: they're censoring, not mine) you for saying Manning doesn't instantly make this team a Super Bowl contender. Who the f**k do you think you are?! Manning is the greatest QB to ever play at Tennessee and the NFL, and to say he wouldn't instantly make this team a title contender makes you a complete idiot.

I Dream About the Manning Face

Yes, I really want Herman Munster who could become Nearly-Headless Pey-Pey on any given hit as my QB. Let's take off the UT shades for a moment and reflect on what this Titans team is. What they ARE is a team still in a rebuilding process with some very good young talent on both sides of the ball, including a QB who looks like he could be the real deal. What they are NOT is a team that is one QB away from being a Super Bowl contender.

Dear Ron,

I have a confession to make: The first time I ever saw your movie was two days after it came out in theaters.

Chris Colgan

You're dead to me.

Dear Ron,

Why are the Titans so cheap? Every time we have a good player hit FA, we NEVER re-sign them! Seriously, go all the way back to Jevon Kearse and when has this team kept someone around once they're contract has run its course? I'm getting sick of it, we've got $30 million to spend this year and there are some great players out there that would instantly make us better.

Spends My Money Clubbing on Fridays

Damn you and your greediness Bud Adams!!!1 Fortunately for you, I have talked with Ruston Webster and he has assured me that they are ready to offer Mario Williams $120 million over the next three years, Marquis Colston $50 million, Carl Nicks $50 million (because guards and receivers equally impact the offense according to him), Peyton Manning $400 million (because of his status as a State Historical Treasure), and for good measure trade their first three picks for Arian Foster then give him a hometown (he's from TN right? Went to UT so from the state?) higher contract of $80 million. We'll be Super Bowl bound with that kind of money being spent!!!!11

Dear Ron,

Describe in 69 characters or less why you were banned from Stampede Blue.

Dynamic Dreadlocks

Because I am just that amazing.

See you next week, send your mail to BurgundyFanMail@gmail.com!

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