The Untold Story Of Dowell Loggains: The Man Genius

Please forgive me if I sound a little upset. My face is red with anger right now because I am so disappointed with the media. The media never told us the truth behind the rise of coach Dowell Loggains.

Why didn’t the media tell the whole story? Why didn’t the media tell us how Dowell Loggains single handedly saved the Titan’s run game?

The reason why the media didn't do their job is because the truth didn't fit their narrative. But this reporter will tell you the truth as was told to me by multiple sources moments ago.

There was a lot of pressure put on coach Mike Munchak to fix the run game mainly because of his hall of fame credentials. Coach Munchak in turn asked the offensive staff to work harder and put in longer hours to fix the problem.

Coach Chris Palmer and coach Dowell Loggains spent sleepless nights up at 2:00 in the morning endlessly breaking down film from every Titan’s running play since 2008.

Coach Loggains had noticed coach Palmer’s repeated trips to the men's room during the many hours of watching film. My sources told me that Coach Palmer’s men's room breaks were like clockwork; every 20 minutes coach Palmer would stop the film and say “Oops, gotta go to the little boy's room.”

I was told that the sound of the flushed toilet accompanying coach Palmer’s return from the men’s room was like chinese water torture. I was also told that Coach Palmer would predictably return from the men's room buckling his belt, pulling his pants way up above his stomach, clearing his throat only to command “Okay, let's continue.”

The sight of seeing an old man wear his pants so high helped Dowell Loggains break the mystery of why the Titans run game wasn't working. In short, coach Loggains discovered that the Titan’s run game was in the “crapper” because Chris Johnson could not keep his pants up during games.

The word is that Coach Loggains immediately went back and looked at every play and noticed that CJ couldn’t accelerate or make defenders miss because CJ’s pants couldn't stay up. Apparently Chris was giving tell tale signs to defenses. CJ would constantly tug on his pants, continually pulling them up before and after every play. Defenders would know when Chris had an important blocking assignment or when CJ was going to get the ball.

The Titan's front office was promptly notified and were very relieved to hear the good news about this breakthrough so they immediately ordered specialized Sansabelt game pants for Chris Johnson.

The media should have reported how Dowell Loggains appropriately should get all the credit for the turnaround in the run game. The media should also have told us how an enlarged prostate and a improved Titans run game got Chris Palmer fired. But just knowing that Chris Johnson will never fiddle with his pants between plays again will be good enough for me.

There is one other thing.... the media did get one thing right: Dowell Loggains really is a prodigy and a genius!


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