The Real Reason Why the Titan’s Defense Sucks: The Rusty Smith Conspiracy Theory

Rusty Smith, the third string quarterback for the Tennessee Titans will finally get his first win as an NFL quarterback. It won’t be as a starter, but we will all be happy to get the win anyway. And this is very welcomed news for the Titans struggling defense because its Rusty Smith's fault that the team’s defense stinks.

Now before you think I have totally lost my grip on reality, ask yourself a couple of simple questions: In Rusty’s entire career as quarterback, how has all of his team’s defenses fared? And how well has the Titans defense perform after Rusty arrived in Tennessee?

On the other hand, Jerry Gray, defensive coordinator for the Titans has always had top defenses wherever he has coached. Coach Gray has never had a defense that ranked higher than 5th since he has coached in the league.

So what gives? Why does the Titans defense consistently rank among the worst in the NFL? Answer: Rusty Smith.

Rusty loves to play practical jokes on his teammates and his pranks usually always has had a negative affect on the defense. Rusty doesn't get a lot of playing time so he has lot of free time on his hands. Rusty perpetually perpetrates a variety of practical jokes on the defense during and after practice.

So why haven't the media told us about Rusty? The media is so lazy. They keep public information private. The media is so fearful about upsetting the apple cart. They are like lemmings, eager to blame Jerry Gray for the problems with the Titans defense. The media will never tell the real story about why the Titans defense is so bad so you have to hear it first from this reporter.

Three independent sources told me that Rusty is always involved in so called “locker room horse play” like roughhousing, popping other players and coaches with wet towels and playing grab ass.

Before the first week of the season, Rusty sneaks into the linebackers room where he see both starting and back up linebackers watching film and preparing for the opener. Rusty unleashes a fire hose full of water (the large hoses that firefighters use) on the entire room, destroying weeks of preparation and damaging more than $48,000 worth of furniture and equipment. Rusty's little practical joke may have cost the Titans a win because the whole defensive scheme and game plan for that week was lost.

And there is more..... Rusty frequently calls the defensive coordinator's house at 3:00 in the morning, disguising his voice, claiming to be an investigator with the Williamson County Police Department. One week Rusty hid all of the playbooks that had all the defensive assignments for the secondary. Rusty even switched the birth certificates of a teammate that has an identical twin brother.

My sources also tell me that Rusty arrives at the teams facility at Baptist Sports Park an hour and a half before everyone else so that he can plant gags and props. His daily stunts are driving his defensive teammates insane. Not one player on the defense has had a good nights sleep in months. They cannot concentrate or keep any train of thought. Everyone is so on edge and in fear of what bag of tricks may lurk next.

But there is good news for Titans fans. The front office is fully aware of the situation so thank goodness Jerry Gray’s job is not in peril. I am told that the team’s executives expect Rusty’s first win to improve the defense. Let all hope and pray that the team get this Rusty problem straightened out.

DISCLAIMER: I want to protect all of the sources for this story and I want to make it absolutely clear that coach Jerry Gray is not. I repeat, IS NOT a source for this story. And did I mention that coach Gray is not involved in the sourcing or posting of this story. I am just checking because I was not sure if I mentioned that.

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