Hola! Papa B has been busy lately which has prevented my most recent interview from coming out until now. But with the contributors slacking off lately (ahem...Winniel!), what better time to provide you another fantastic hot seat with the legendary Ron Burgundy? Let's also cut some slack on the whole "late night" thing here, I haven't slept in 24 hours so for me it's late night!
Anyways, this week we have a twofer. After last week's stirring victory over the Pittsburgh Dishtowels, sorry, Steelers, I sat down with linebacker James Harrison and Steelers Superfan Ben Bucktooth (retroactively renamed by his parents after the Steelers quarterback). Join me as I sit down with player and fan to get their insight!
Papa B: Gentlemen, thanks for joining me tonight.
Harrison: I AM GOING TO F*** YOU UP!!!
Papa B: I believe that is Ryan Mouton's line, but thanks for making me feel welcome. Ben, let me start with you...how does it feel knowing you are right up there with Cowboys fans as the most despised in the NFL?
BB: Go Steelers!
Papa B: Yes, I understand you're a fan but could you answer the question?
BB: We have six rings! How many do you have?!
Papa B: Well I have my Channel 4 News Team ring...my Playgirl's Sexiest Man Alive ring (cherish that one)...oh, and here's my members only ring for five-time Emmy winners!
BB: SIX RINGS!!!!
Papa B: Let's talk about your quarterback. James, how do you feel about opposing defenses taking so-called "cheap shots" against Ben Roethlisberger when you have been known to blantantly deliver helmet-to-helmet hits on opponents?
Harrison: That's why we play the game! Teams who hit Ben like that are just dirty. When I'm out there I'm just playing football, that's all it is.
Papa B: Let me get this straight...you're "playing football" but if an opponent lands a similar hit to one of your teammates it's "dirty"?
Harrison: I WILL HEADBUTT YOU INTO OBLIVION!!!
Papa B: I think I have a concussion just thinking about that. Ben, why do you get so sensitive about the towel?
BB: That towel is sacred! How dare you insult it, you obviously have no idea what it means to Steelers fans!
Papa B: You mean that a percentage of profits go to help children? I understand that fine. But what about those towels that are always sold by random people outside the stadium that you buy from? I'm sure THOSE guys are giving a percentage to charity...
BB: DON'T HATE THE TOWEL!
Papa B: It's stupid.
BB: GO F*** YOURSELF! The towel has helped countless children! If you can't understand that, you obviously hate children.
Papa B: James, how do you feel having this sort of fanbase?
Harrison: Man, I gotta be honest. I talk a tough game just so I can fit in and not have to deal with these people. Really I just want to play for a franchise with good fans like the Seahawks. Those guys are loud AND smart.
Papa B: You heard it here folks, even the Pittsburgh Steelers hate their fans! Tune in next time for another Late Night!