Monday Musings & All I Wanted for Christmas Are My Two Wins Against the Colts

I'm still trying to make sense of what happened yesterday and I've concluded that what we fans watching witnessed was not a football game. Below are a few observations:

· After that "performance" all the (non-Titans fans) naysayers proved us fans right that we are not even close to being considered a playoff caliber team. Insult to injury, the Colts are still getting Andrew Luck. Holy four letter word Batman!

· Where do I even start with the performance? Actually, I'll choose not to start at all. There's nothing that even deserves to be analytically broken down because a two year old could watch that game and see what the Titans were doing wrong. That same two year old would probably also assume he/she is watching two 0-13 teams, or worse, the Colts would be the 7-6 team.

· I will say, however, being one that defended Matt Hasselbeck to start (Disclaimer: I defended him only if he were 100 percent healthy, which he obviously was not), I made an agregious error and Locker should've been in all four quarters not just half of one quarter (Hal, you were right, and on behalf of MCM I apologize for ridiculing you last week. Don't let it go to your head). At the very least Locker should have been in the whole fourth quarter. What were you thinking Palmer/Munchak? Our offensive gameplan was the definition of insanity. I might as well give you a sturdy wall and tell you to ram your head into it until your heads go numb.

· The one silver lining, if it's possible to find one, is that we can firmly say that Jared Cook is not the solution at the TE spot. Even when we could see his route running and blocking were not great, there were still those who would support him. Add another vice to that growing list, this being not protecting the ball at pivotal moments in the middle of the field and after converting a first down (this is like the third or fourth time this season), and you've just endorsed your own pink slip.

Below, I've listed five questions that have come to mind from this disheartening loss. It may stimulate, inspire, depress, or confuse you, or some combination in between.
Five questions from a bewildered Titans fan:
(1) Have we entered the Twilight Zone when arguably the Titans best performer yesterday was Lavelle Hawkins, or have we been there since unusual sums up this Titans season?
(2) Isn't it ironic that on the same day the Indianapolis Colts actually win one that Green Bay finally loses one?
(3) Is anyone also wondering that if Peyton were playing against us yesterday the score would've been worse than the 59-0 blowout in New England?
(4) Was the ghost of Jeff Fisher present yesterday and, if he was, was he exuberant with the run, run, pass for four yards play calling all day (Afterall, imitation is the best form of flattery)?
(5) If Robert Wagner helmed the Love Boat does that mean Chris Palmer skippers the Fail Boat?

My Titans haiku of the day:
A sad Titans fan
Indianapolis win
Locker fourth quarter?

The two competing hypotheses I have explaining why we lost yesterday:
(1) Like all good conspiracies, this one started at the top moving all the way down, from the Titans front office down to the players, in an effort to throw the game so Indy doesn't have the number one pick. Too little too late, Titans.
(2) Dan Orlovsky consutled a voodoo woman named Phyllis to curse the entire Titans squad and provide him the win of his life in exchange for his soul.

I know what you're thinking, and I agree. The latter is definitely more likely...

Embarassing statement of the day:

Dan Fouts wondering if the Titans had another Music City Miracle in them. Well, shortsighted Dan (with equally brain dead commentary), that would require two things. For one, the Titans would have to be in Music City for it to be a Music City Miracle part Deux. Barring a cataclysmic geographic shift in the earth's crust on an apocalyptic scale thus resulting in displacing Indianapolis to what is now Nashville, this is not even physically possible. Two, even if Special Teams were able to pull off another miracle (another component of the MCM), after yesterday's result, I think I'd be safe in assuming a flag would be thrown on the play and it would come back.

Feel free to join along and vent in the comments section below. I’m fairly winded.


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