learn the fine arts of:

alienating the local media, and how to blame them for it
choosing the perfect pouting song on your ipod
not reading defenses
hanging your head when you are winning
inspiring APB’s and scaring the sh!t out of your coach in the middle of the night
announcing that you are “just going to shut up” right before giving big sit down time to ESPN
shortarming every throw
trying to succeed at a thinking man’s position with nothing but raw athleticism
losing your job to a late 30’s recovering alcoholic known for dropping the n-bomb on teammates

fun for the whole family!